N.S.A. – G.C.H.Q. – Me:
I was hacked into the NSA headquarters the other day. A secretary was reading my folder. The top sheet read
“Gordon always seems to know exactly what we are doing, and how we are doing it. It’s almost as if he were looking over our shoulders all the time.”
What utter nonsense. That pannini she was eating really did look good however. Starbucks or Costa? She needs to lose weight though. I could hardly see past her over stretched ears.
I took a look in GCHQ at the same time, and it turned out they were ogling her pannini as well. They didn’t think much of the file she had on me, and brought out their own to prove to themselves it was bigger. It was enormous I have to admit. Six inches high, at least.
Never been such a fat file since Dennis Allen’s. Though I only ever had his word for that.
GCHQ decided to contact the head of the NSA just as I was about to go. They wanted to know what he thought of their new plan of action? I didn’t think much of it, so I wiped the file from the computer. They seemed to think that Russia’s President Putin might try to get my support to hang poofs. He was given by their the code name for him of ‘ We’d Rather Have Him.’
Someone code named ‘Not Much Longer Now Surely’ was apparently having problems as well. His file said ‘Not Much Longer Now Surely’ care was doomed to failure from the start. Doomed by whom? It didn’t say.
Someone called ‘The Eton Poof’ it appears is telling the people of Sri Lanka that they must all become poofs like him, or be accused of infringing his human rights. What about mine?
The German leader was asking if she should make her speech this coming weekend about , , , ? Not much point my dear they’ve already heard it. I like it though.
Note: It is not foreigners I am kept from contacting. It’s fellow Christians here.