This story might go on a bit and will probably become a page, but I’ll start telling you about my ship here.
I’ll show you this picture, but this is not it. Though it is not unlike it. Mine has no apparent power units for example, and no fins. It appears perfectly smooth, and is much bigger.
It does everything except float on water. Strictly speaking it could float on water, but as it is not a requirement we never ask it to.
It can be a submarine to a depth of seven miles. We’ve had it down to the deepest part of the pacific ocean. It has no ballast tanks. It has no noticeable oxygen supply, though obviously it has, and it’s endless. It can maintain position, or move, at any depth. It can do a lot more in water as well, but more on that later probably.
It is a space ship, and it could, we’re told, fly into the sun. I’ve tried it real close, but that’s as scary as I’ve ever been in it. The realisation that if there was just a slight crack – makes you shudder. However we are assured no cracks will appear when we need it secured.
It can travel from outside our island home to the moon in under one second by it’s mode of transport. Teleportation. That is how it gets to the ocean depths as well. Give the on board computer a destination, and it takes us there.
For air sea rescue the computer uses GPS. It’s systems monitor calls for help on a global scale, and we respond to the one’s no others can reach in time. For example, we have rescued the crew of a ship that was sinking, and had only seconds left before it was under water. We took off the entire crew, two dogs and a cat.
Rescuing pets is important for us. It gives us a sense of perspective, and a clear conscience. We insist on knowing if there are pets to be rescued as well, and we’ve never lost a human or a pet. It’s the ship’s reaction time which gets us there in time. Almost as soon as the first call for help is made we are in position above the problem. No matter what the weather. My ship can hold position in a hurricane with top speed winds and we inside it never feel a shudder of any kind, and it will not move. Not even when the ship opens a hatch. It controls all the outside hatches. Opening and sealing them again to my orders as captain. The relief crew have a captain also.
Talking about pets. My Wife and daughters who partly make up the crew will tell you about the time we rescued an owner and his crew, and a dog, from a luxury yacht. I had made sure the captain had his log book, because we need a copy of the time of the call, with the captains signature, for our own records, even if he fills it in later, and also for the owners of commercial ships. Also if authorities ask us later we can send a copy. Keeps us in the clear, and it helps us drop hints about how many millions we have saved in insurance claims. Our services are free, but we do make the point sometimes that we accept donations. We also make the point, on big rescues, that we might not be able to attend so quickly in future if we run short of funds. That goes a long way to explaining why myself, and all the crew members, have millions in our banks. Crew members are share holders, and few crew are required. There are in fact two crews working on a three months on three months off basis. Though it often gets a little confused, because the ship is a comfortable place to live and relax.
However. Back to the yacht. I asked the owner if he was certain there were no more pets, and he told me he was sure, ‘except of course the ornamental fish in the tank’. So there I was in my wet suit and with a rebreather hung around my neck knee deep in water, plucking freshwater fish from a floating glass tank on a sinking ship and plopping them into buckets of fresh water. Myself and the young lad also tipped out the tank and took that as well, our ship having endless supplies of fresh water.
The owner got his fish back later in a clean tank with all the accessories.
As I type this we are sitting three hundred miles above the earth in a geostationary position. My favourite position. Some of the crew like to turn on all the screens and see the stars all around. I don’t mind that either, but I like to turn the screens off in my sleeping quarters. Gravity. We have no idea how it works, but we know it is adjustable. I had to limit it to avoid sudden change if we are called out, and have to leave the ship for a time.
The ship was made in heaven by heavenly people. They maintain it by proxy. Or rather they examine it by proxy and ensure the self repair computer programmes are functioning. That is why as we go about our business we see others in white gowns go about theirs. They appear to walk through walls carrying clipboard style computers, and ignore us. The reason, I’m told, is because they are not here. They built the ship, and they maintain it, but from a distance. Like I said, by proxy. They even walk through us, but we are not to be troubled by them. Except that if any one, even myself try’s to open a hatch, behind which are ships working electronics, the computer will knock the person out with a shock wave. Do it again it warns and that person will die. No one has died, but a few rescued people were knocked out, until we put warning notices everywhere in most languages. Telling them just served to entice them to try it. Those hatches are seamless and harmless except during their inspections. I have said ‘working electronics’, but I doubt ‘electronics’ applies. Top secret anyway.